Marriage, Happiness, and Obedience

There was a time in my life when I thought perhaps God had destined me to be single.  I did not date anyone for three years, so I thought perhaps this was God telling me to spend more time with Him.  So I did.  I stopped “looking” for a husband and started spending time getting to know my Creator God.

Unbeknownst to me, my now husband had also stopped dating for about three years.  He was spending time learning about who he was and how to obey God.  When we met and began dating, my husband told me how he had learned to obey God.  The passion by which he talked about the importance of following God in obedience was what attracted me the most to him.  Knowing that his goal was obedience to God significantly influenced why I chose to marry him.

I recently heard someone say that the purpose of marriage was to make each other happy.  I have never heard anything that is further from the truth.  If your goal in your marriage is to make your spouse happy, you will always be disappointed.   Happiness is temporary and usually based on things going your way.   I think that the reason there are so many divorces in our culture is because people truly believe that the end all of marriage is happiness.  So when the happiness goes, so does the marriage.

I would challenge people to think differently about marriage.   King Solomon wrote the book of Ecclesiastes.  I would say he knew a little bit about marriage and trying to use it for all the wrong reasons as he had more than a few wives.  So when he wrote in Ecclesiastes 12: 13 (NIV), “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind”, I do not take that lightly.  What would marriages be like these days if the goal of each spouse was to “fear God and keep his commandments” instead of happiness?

Psalm 128:1 (NIV) says, “Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.”  As we individually strive to walk in obedience to God, God will bless that.  We don’t need to worry about being happy.  Our joy will be found in our obedience to God, and this joy from obedience will directly influence the marriage.

So if you’re single, obey God.  If it is God’s will for you to be married, God will make it happen in His time.  If you’re married, obey God.  Life won’t be perfect as we live in a world marred by sin.  However, obedience will bring about joy that enriches the marital relationship God has blessed you with in ways that you could never imagine!


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